It was a Friday night, and a friend of mine (okay it was my ex Patrick) was having a birthday party in Hollywood. So you know I had to look extra cute, right? I had to show him what he's been missing. Now I don’t normally do colors, but that night I decided to be colorful and wear this gem green pencil skirt with a cream top, super cute. Plus that skirt made my butt look ahhhmazing!!! HA! I very rarely wear my hair off of my face because I kinda have this big forehead, but I was really feelin' myself that night and threw caution to the wind! I wore my curly hair back with minimum makeup, and I must admit it did not look bad, not bad at all!
As soon as I entered the lounge, I noticed this tall (6’4) handsome man at the bar to my left, and he appeared to be with a large group of people. We’ll go ahead and call him Grant. So I crossed to the right where my friend’s party was in full effect. The usual suspects were all there, but there were dozens of handsome men that I had never seen out before, so I was scoping the entire scene! I chatted up the folks I knew, met some new men here and there, but no one really sparked my interest. However, as I walked over to speak to my friend Mike, I noticed that Grant had now moved over to the same side of the bar, and he was only steps away from me. Now looka here— dude had on this crisp, white t-shirt, was built and filling out every bit of it like The Rock, and actually looked very similar to him as well. Although Dwayne is way finer, like waayyy! I’m just sayin’. So I curved on Mike for a minute to see if an opportunity would present itself to make Grant's acquaintance.
Grant was standing alone, albeit surrounded by my circle of friends. However, he wasn't interacting with any of them. So that let me know there was a good chance he was there alone, and had merely stumbled into our celebration. So I approached him from the side and said: “You don’t look like you’re enjoying yourself.” He turned and smiled, then assured me that he actually was, he was just taking it all in. “I’m Grant,” he said in a deep, velvety voice. “Gabrielle, nice to meet you.” It really was, too! I mean he was super sexy! He continued: “You know every woman is jealous of you right now, don’t you?" Jealous of me? I thought to myself, no way. “You picked the biggest dude in here, and just walked over to talk to him.” With that statement alone, I learned that he was funny, sexy, and a bit cocky, all of which I liked. I must say, I do have that boldness about me when I see something that I want. HA! I merely replied: “Well, it’s their loss. They could've done the exact same thing,” which he liked. Now I know that there are some ladies who don’t like approaching men, but here’s the thing... all men can say is no. I’ve heard no so many times it doesn't even phase me, it just rolls off of my back. Besides, his “no” is another man’s “yes”! Even though I may let a man off the hook by helping break the ice, after that, he has to do all of the work. And if he doesn’t take the ball and run with it, then I keep it moving. So ladies, don't be afraid to make the first move. It could be your best move yet! Let's get back.
After a brief chat, Grant excused himself to continue walking around the party. Now I knew that he wasn't trying to put all of his eggs in one basket, he wanted to see what else was out there, but I already knew he was feeling me and would be back around. In the meantime, I don’t know what was on me that night, but when I tell you whatever it was, men were coming at me left and right! I’ve never, no like never, like ever never had that many men approach me in one night in LA. Men just don’t approach you in this town, which is utterly ridiculous. As a matter of fact, when I do go out it’s usually like high school, with men on one side of the room and women on the other! This town is so weird and bizarre that way. However, that’s an entire blog by itself, so I digress. Whatever it was, I was one of the hot chicks that night for some strange reason, and I was taking full advantage of it! I worked the hell out of that room. While I was talking to a guy I hadn’t seen in years, Grant passed behind me through the crowd, and slyly brushed his hand across my behind. I didn’t acknowledge it or him, although I realized the guy I was speaking with saw it happen, and seemed a bit put off. I assured him that was just my friend Grant being silly. Although it was confirmation to me that he was definitely interested, it should have red-flagged me to the possibility that he may really only be interested in "hitting" that booty.
Folks who know me know that I usually only do an hour at a place and then jet. It's always better to leave people wanting more! I had already spent a couple of hours mingling, so it was time to call it a night and go home. I went around the room and said my goodbyes, and then made my way over to Grant to let him know that I was leaving. We exchanged pleasantries and cell info then parted with a hug. Shortly after leaving, I received a text from Grant: “Looking forward to us”. Got him! Yes!!! I was like a giddy school girl who just got a text from the most handsome, popular boy in school! Sad, but true! We would text and talk over the next couple of days until he asked me out for drinks three days after our initial meeting.
The evening Grant and I are were meeting, had been proceeded by a horrendous work day for me. I wanted to scream, cry, and fight all at the same time! But seeing him would be the light in my dark day, so I pulled it all together. I was actually looking forward to drinks, in the hope of helping to wipe the yucky day away. Oh no! But what am I going to wear? I hadn’t thought about it at all, and time was ticking, so I called my cousin Dana to help me decide. I wanted to look sexy, but not slutty; available, but not thirsty. We decided on a simple, yet fitted black dress, chandelier earrings, with black with gold stilettos. Yeah, I looked pretty hot!
I texted him that I had parked and was walking up, and to my surprise, he was already inside waiting at the bar. I entered and the hostess directed to me a sitting Grant, who was already having a drink. As I sat to join him, he complimented my fabulous dress and told me how beautiful I looked. I declined an alcoholic drink because y’all may already know that I’m a total lightweight. One drink and it’s a wrap! I really. really wanted to get to know Grant better, so I kept my drink alcohol-free.
We decided to move over to the lounge area so that we could be more comfortable talking, plus we got to sit close and break a little bit of that personal space bubble. I learned that he was a former NFL player, who was now a tech salesman and had recently moved to LA in the past year. Fresh meat, yes! ‘Cause the dudes that are in this city are normally wiggity, wiggity, wiggity wack! Let me stop, no but for real though they are. Anyway, in a city with tons of beautiful women, he claimed he was looking for quality over quantity. It would take a helluva woman for him to settle down with, but he was open to the possibility. Okay, okay, I might just be that woman! Then he switched the conversation and went on to tell me about myself like he knew me. Dude please, you don’t know me. Oddly enough, he really did seem to know me! Wait, what? "I can tell that you're strong, yet demure, which I like. You're very loving but misunderstood. People mistakenly believe that you can't be this sweet and genuine, that you must want something from them." This is too weird. He was reading me to a tee! I felt like he really got me. So I confided in him about my difficulties that day, and how it was only another brick added to the heavy load I was already carrying. He empathized with me. How did he seem to know who I was and what I needed to hear when he just met me? However it was that he knew those things, I was gobbling it all up, hook, line and sinker. So much so that if I were to take everything that I had been praying for in a man and combine them, Grant would have been the final product. I was totally smitten with him.
Time passed, appetizers were eaten, drinks were gone, and it was time to wrap up our evening. This is where the evening should have ended. However, being smitten and not using proper judgment because the energy between us was crazy electric, I'm saddened to admit that I fell for the okey-doke. Me? Like you don't understand. I see the okey-doke and call you on it, but I don't actually fall for the shit. Ugh, totally fell for it! “I can tell things are wearing on you. You just need to lay your head on my chest and be still.” Now you know I gave him that “yeah right” look though, right?. He knew it, too, so he continued… “I’m not talking about sex, it’s not about that. It’s about genuinely connecting.” Hmmmm, well okay. Since he took an Uber there, drove him home. I began to have second thoughts because I felt like our energy was leading us down that sex road, but I really wanted to connect on a higher level. Once the sex happens, that’s it, it’s over, done. “No sex?” He promised. "You just need to lay on my chest and find my space, that's all. No sex."
So we went inside of his building and entered his apartment, it was beautiful. Well decorated, neat, peaceful, it was actually rather lovely. As I crossed inside, he said: “I never got a chance to give you a hug, since I was already there when you arrived.” So we hugged and he immediately grabbed my ass and shoved his tongue down my throat. I knew immediately what I should have known initially, he just wanted sex. Well, that wasn’t happening, which I reiterated to him and maintained. Even though he was fine and sexy, and I hadn’t had sex in months, like months!!! But what was happening now wasn’t what I was looking for. Besides, I had already told him that I wasn't looking for another freak-piece, I was looking for a man, a companion.
Feeling that the energy had totally shifted in the opposite direction, it was time for me to go. Grant walked me to my car and asked me if I was okay since he thought I appeared to be sad. He was right, I was sad, as well as disappointed in him and myself. I told him that I was just tired because I was hurt and didn’t want to talk about it, I just wanted to leave. I felt deceived, like he used his salesman skills to tell me what I simply wanted to hear. Despite what he said, this guy didn’t want anything deep, real or meaningful, he was only looking for a simple romp in the sack. I couldn't believe that I let myself fall for his fooleywang!
He ended up calling me the next day, and we had a very candid conversation about how the previous night unfolded. I was honest and let him that I was disappointed in the way things played out. I thought he was different from all of the other knuckleheads who only see me as a sexual object to fulfill their carnal needs, but he wasn’t. Here I am thinking that I had finally met the man of my dreams, when the truth was, that was never the role he was meant to play. “Gabrielle, I know what you’re looking for in terms of a relationship, and I definitely don’t want to disappoint you. I really do care for you, it was just that the energy between us was amazing. Although I want you, I respect you and your wishes.”
Grant and I texted and spoke on the phone a few times over the next few months because I did enjoy his friendship. Although I think somewhere deep inside I was hoping that he would eventually want more. So when he texted and asked to take me out for lunch, I thought maybe he did. However, I needed to move lunch, so I reached out to ask if we could reschedule, and he didn’t respond… until a month later. A month?! Did you lose your phone? Your minutes ran out? Hitting me with a text: “You getting out?” What? Fool I ain’t heard from you in a month and you’re hitting me like we’re good? Like I’m not going to notice you never got back to me about lunch? Man, please! Y’all know I’m so Chicago, right? So I let him know that he lost that privilege to know anything about me or my schedule and that I’m no longer interested. “Grant, I need a king beside me to build with me, not someone who doesn’t recognize my worth or his own.” Boy bye! Let me give you men out there a fair warning… I’m not here to play with you or be your little plaything. If you’re not trying to build something real, do me a favor and keep clowning around with your fellow jesters because I’m in the kingdom building business, not the three-ring circus business.
Even though I recognize that I still may have a “type” with certain physical attributes and personality traits, let me be clear that it also includes spirituality and mindset. I remain hopeful that when I meet the type of man that encompasses all that I want and need, before I take that step forward, I will know for certain that he’ll be there to catch me when I fall for him. Until then... next!